LETTER TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM

I thought I'd write a letter to explain about doing portraits before the wedding. Sometimes friends and relatives think they should be done after the ceremony, and I thought this letter might help explain why we do them earlier.

First, there is no Christian religious significance to the wives-tale that the groom shouldn't see the bride before the wedding. It is actually a superstition, and Christ said that His followers have no need for superstition. As a matter of fact, in some churches, such as those of the Pennsylvania Dutch, it is a pagan belief and they will have nothing to do with it. Speaking from my own point of view, I wouldn't trade the moments that Neil and I shared before the ceremony as we held hands and talked with Reverend Elzinga, for anything.

From a practical standpoint, you risk ruining your reception if you have the photographs done during the reception. No photographer can take less then thirty minutes if he or she is working as fast as possible, and Neil and I would need at least an hour to give you anything that begins to resemble our regular work. By then, your hair and make-up is likely to be a little messy, the children will be tired, and the groomsmen will be itching to get out of their fancy clothes. Also, you will have people hanging around (believe me, they can't stay away from you for long). Your eyes may even be red from crying, so after the ceremony, you aren't going to have that fresh, radiant look. Many of your friends, having already seen you in the receiving line, will get tired of waiting and go home. Think of the special good-bye hugs and private conversations you will miss, and how bad they will feel, having you absent for so long.

From a romantic point of view, when the groom first you before the wedding, he will be able to tell you how he feels (something he would not be able to do during the ceremony, in front of the church). You can hold hands, hug, and reassure each other, rather than trying to decide who will hide to be sure of not running into one another. We can set aside that first hour for just the two of you. The wedding party does not need to be there until two hours before the wedding. You will feel more relaxed seeing them there and dressed. If someone forgets their tie or the ring, or the florist forgets your bouquet, you wouldn't panic, but would have time to send someone after the ring, tie, or call the florist. (Try to assign someone to run errands who is not in the wedding party and will not be in any family photographs.)

Although we may plan a different schedule for your wedding, this is a typical photography schedule:

Bride and Groom 3 hours before

Parents and Family 2 hours before

Wedding Party 2 hours before

We will finish the photographs 45 minutes before the ceremony to give you time to comb your hair, have a bite to eat, and attend to last minute details. Your day will be less hectic; you won't panic if someone forgets something or is slow: the guests will be happy, and the poor groom won't have to hide and feel like the forgotten person. Most importantly, you will be with the person you love taking beautiful, romantic photographs. All this sacrificed for a wive's-tale?

Once the reception is over, there is nothing left of your wedding day but the photographs and the memories. You won't ever look the same again, and your memories will grow dim. Only the photographs will remind you of that day. If they are beautiful, you will remember your wedding that way, but if they are rushed, the memories won't be as beautiful. You probably won't believe it, but the only way I can remember how Neil and I looked on our wedding day is to see the pictures. In my mind, I see us on our wedding day the way that we look now.

Don't forget to tell the florist about having the flowers there three hours before the wedding. (Most cut flowers last about 24 hours.)

Warmly,

Miriam Haugen